The One Bicycle Thief

It was a Team Bauer 24-speed front suspension mountain bike with disc brakes, shimano gears, brand new tires and custom pedals. It clicked slightly when peddling uphill in 14^th gear and my dear friend Stu had even switched the brakes to the American style so I didn’t hurl myself over the handlebars (too often). Its unique paint job included gold painted-on zippers and the seat liked to randomly swivel to the right. My helmet matched my teal and black gloves which, oddly enough, matched a 2-inch stripe of teal on the front of the bike frame. I told myself all this matching wasn’t just mere coincidence, and that the bike was destined to be mine.

But none of this matters anymore, because my beloved bike has been maliciously stolen…

[[[Fade from black]]]

It was a dark and stormy night in windy Queenstown, the ominous weather a precursor of the misfortune that was to befall the unsuspecting victims as they furiously peddled their bikes through the throngs of tourist…

Okay, really it was a warm and fair-weathered evening with a beautiful sunset and hardly any tourist – Adam would never hack it at peddling anywhere close to a “furious” pace, so lets just say we were cruising. As we wheeled up to Starbucks we waved through the window at the crew inside who longingly looked at us as if they wished that they too could be off work and embarking on an evening out. Adam hopped off his bike, leaning it against his usual pillar, then motioned for me to bring my bike over to lock up. Once securely locking both bikes, we headed to Monty’s – one of our favorite pubs.

Several hours later, holding a large pizza, French fries, and several movies, Adam and I both agreed that an attempt to bike home in our condition would be suicide for the pizza. So we walked home – sneaking slices on the way. An evening of vampire movies ensued, and before long, Adam was snoring loudly (in a very Welsh way). I bid adieu to the unconscious Adam and went to sleep myself.

The next morning Adam, on his way to work, walked outside before abruptly returning. “Where did we put the bikes?” he asked. I told him that we had left them at work and saw a small light go on in his head as he finally remembered. About a half hour later I got a text that no bike owner ever wants to receive.

ARE YOU SURE WE LEFT OUR BIKES OUTSIDE STARBUCKS LAST NIGHT?

I pieced the prior evening together from start to finish before responding with a definite YES. I was half hoping that Adam was playing a joke on me, but when he called from the police station to get a description of my bike, my hope vanished. Sulking to work, I immediately noticed the bare pillar where my bike had once been only hours before. Adam hugged me as we mourned the loss of our mutually favorite possessions and we reassured each other that the bikes would turn up eventually.

But boy am I looking forward to tackling the $%*# out of the poor guy who stole my bike when I find him! And I will find him…

-Ashley

Fun Fact: Ben Harper (singer extraordinaire) came into my work today and ordered a latte. Even famous people need coffee!