The One Big Update (Finally!)

If you like:
• Dilapidated buildings
• Streets, sidewalks, fields, parks, rivers, lakes and oceans strewn with trash
• Waiting 10 minutes for a waiter, getting half your order before everyone else at the table and, if your lucky, half once your mates have finished eating
• Buses crammed full like a can of sardines only to stop every 100 meters between dangerous speeds
• Transportation always being 30 minutes early or an hour late
• Hotel rooms cleaned less often than your 13-year-old brother’s bedroom
• Being constantly barraged with seedy men calling, “Hey ladee, taxsee taxsee?!”
• Being told incorrect information 4/5 times you ask for help
• People staring because you are white and blatantly taking pictures
• Dozens of never ending itchy bug bites
• Fighting ants for territory
• Countries that pillage their natural resources and haven’t a clue about sustainable practices (down to burning plastic bottles rather than recycling them)
… THEN MALAYSIA IS FOR YOU!

All that being said, Malaysia has been quite the adventure! I’ve had a grand time and have met some friendly and very caring locals. When I get past the frustrations of the different cultures and when my impatience settles into acceptance that I cannot control the boat driver who decides to drop off every cousin he has around the Island before taking me ashore, I find myself relaxing and saying to myself, ‘This is Malaysia.’

Seeing as I know you all have been patiently waiting, here is a recap of all the places I’ve been the past few weeks:

CAMERON HIGHLANDS:
After a terrifying ride on the most ghetto bus in the entire country I finally arrived in the cool mountain air of the Cameron Highlands. The grid of tea plantations and jungle covered hills were a far cry from the deforestation and miles upon miles of palm plantations I had passed on the way there. The town still had the typical shabby houses and even a few bamboo and palm frond huts but the evidence of poverty was much less abrasive than I had seen elsewhere. The hostel I had book (and confirmed twice) gave my room away to some Canadian named Stephanie so I was given the “special room” and confused as actually being Stephanie for the duration of my stay. The special room was actually a storage closet and upon meeting Stephanie, a witty Canadian lawyer, I didn’t mind the confusion. My first full day an elderly Muslim man kindly walked me through town to the trailhead of a network of trails that weave through the area hillsides. Being told my intended itinerary would take me ¾ hours, I was quite surprised to finish it in 1 1/2… The early finish meant I finally had time to wash some laundry (by hand in the bathroom sink); as soon as my clothes were handing to dry the afternoon rain showers ruined all my hard effort.

Day two consisted of another hiking mission, this time recruiting the help of a very enthusiastic Chinese man and his very shy son. I was accompanied by a Kiwi named Johnnie who had purposely lost his delightful New Zealand accent and an English girl who is possibly the biggest whinger and most argumentative person I’ve ever met. Despite the bad apple, Johnnie and I had a wonderful time hiking, even when a monsoonal downpour didn’t let up for over a half hour! We got back thoroughly tuckered out and I headed to bed early to rest before my travels to Taman Negara National Park in the morning.

TTAMAN NEGARA NATIONAL PARK:
Upon arriving at the gateway village into Taman Negara, I was reunited with my Manx mates Elly and Chris. A charming boat ride said to take 45 minutes actually took over 2 hours; by the time we arrived to the park village I was more than ready to be back on dry land! We stumbled upon a very basic hostel overlooking the river that was run by a bunch of guitar playing locals who moonlight as rainforest guides, waiters, store clerks, and boat drivers when needed. Meeting two Spaniards named Llouis (pronounced You-es) and Guilliam (William with a G), the five of us quickly teamed up to explore the worlds oldest rainforest over the next few days.
We started with a long, and very high, canopy walk that had me nearly paralyzed with fear. After trying to play tough with the crew I finally had to stop and wait for everyone to cross the series of walkways so that I could proceed at my own shaking slow pace. Not even once did Chris mischievously shake the suspended ropes on me, but he had Elly swaying like a chimpanzee! After our adventure in the jungle canopy, we had a relaxing day in preparation for a hike deep into the rainforest to one of the observation hides. A Canadian named Christopher (who has never been camping if you can believe that) joined us that evening and despite his inexperience, was a keen to join our mission to the hide.

The river had swollen over its banks following several nights straight of thunderous monsoonal rains, which made for a very exciting boat ride to the trailhead! Dodging massive logs and gunning through class 2/3 rapids (our boat was a very basic long wooden canoe with a motor attatched…not what I would be driving into whitewater) we arrived soaking wet at the jetty of an abandoned lodge. After exploring the crumbling buildings like a bunch of kids we settled down to business of walking to the observation hide. Arriving just before dusk, we were soon joined by another Canadian named Thomas. We all expected more people to walk up behind him and when we realized he was solo we were shocked: he had with him a backpack made from a Brazillian flag, a tiny sleeping bag, sandals, a small bag of crackers, and half a bottle of water. The rest of us individually easily had triple what he had carried, and he had hiked the 6 hours in! Removing the dress shoes Thomas had been forced to wear, his hiking shoes had been lost, several leeches were discovered hungrily draining blood from his ankles. We all watched in gross delight as he pulled them off and blood poured from the leech bites.

It was around dinner time that I became very aware of Christopher’s germaphobia. Nearly half the contents of his bag were different anti bacterial sprays, insect repellent, tablets, and first aid supplies. We all took delight in his cleansing rituals performed in the middle of a muddy bug infested jungle! Planning on staying up late into the night to catch sight of the large jungle animals roaming, I somehow fell asleep around 9. I was woken up by Elly whispering ‘Thomas! There’s a mouse sitting next to your head!’. Thomas, asleep on the bench, groggily looked over, saw the mouse, and shooed him away before falling back asleep. I on the other hand stayed awake for the next few hours freaked out that a tiny mouse would maim me.

We all woke early to start on the long 6-7 hour trek back to the village. Llouis went outside to take a picture of us from high in the observation hide and suddenly we burst into laughter as he unknowingly disrupted a massive nest of jungle ants! Dancing because he literally had ants in his pants, he eventually got them all off and came away with a few dozen bites to show for it. Our hike home consisted of wet muddy jungle terrain that followed a path up and down a series of small gorges and creeks. At one point we passed a tiny village of Orang Asli people, the indigenous nomad tribes of Malaysia. The beautiful kids all hid behind huts between peeks at the seven white strangers passing through. A tiring 7 hours later and we finally were back at our hostel. Watching the stunning sun set over the tembling river and listening to the local boys play “Hotel California” on their guitars, I knew this would be a special place that I’ll always remember.

PERHENTIAN ISLANDS:
Getting to the Perhentian Islands was no easy feat. A rickety bus ride from Taman Negara to the train station was jarring enough, but not nearly as rough as the 6 hour train ride that lay ahead. I had acquired two new travel partners in Llouis and Guilliam and the three of us took turns sleeping at the train station before our 3AM ride finally arrived. Exhausted, I immediately fell asleep once in my seat only to wake up at the next stop to a petite Muslim woman harassing the man across from me who was apparently in her seat. I offered to share the seat next to me and she responded with a wide smile that lit up her entire face. Through the dozen or so English words that the woman spoke we exchanged names and I learned that Za had 4 children and a police officer husband. Every time she had trouble understanding what I said (which was every time I spoke) Za either slapped or punched me while a girlish squeal escaped her laughing mouth. Za then proceeded to drag me through 12 carts to the canteen for some tea…. Nearly every hour for the duration of the ride. Hyped up on 6 cups of tea (I didn’t want to be rude so I never turned down her offer to buy me another cup) we parted ways as the sun rose over the jungle trees.

The boys and I were able to catch the last speed boat to the Perhentian Islands and held on for dear life as the boat’s driver let a much younger local man drive us. After nearly capsizing has the guy showed off his spin moves, we came to Long Beach. As I reached out to touch the crystal clear blue water I nearly jumped when I found it to be warm. We missioned to our hostel (the most ghetto on the Island but the cheapest!) and enjoyed the first of our Island meals. The next morning the three of us took a meandering path to the local fishing village. Having lunch and buying a few essentials from a market, we headed back around the other side of the Island. After about 200 meters the trail suddenly dead-ended. Half-made anything is not uncommon in these parts so we figured we’d find our own way back to the remainder of the trail. It never showed up. Tiring of climbing through the mozzy filled trees, we clamored out to the rocks and cliffs butting into the ocean. A few hours of less than safe rock scrambles and a few cliff dives (just for fun) we finally arrived back at the beach. My bread was totally smashed but the adventurous journey home was worth it!

While the Spaniards were engrossed in dive school I took the opportunity to explore the rest of the small Island. I told the boys my plan and then headed into the jungle. Quite quickly I came upon the BIGGEST lizard I’ve ever seen in my life! From nose to tail it was easily as long as me and had the girth of a medium sized dog. Once again ditching the jungle for rocks, I made my way along the cliffs to a pristine and secluded beach full of coral and fish. I swam about and nearly drown when I happened upon a school of the BIGGEST fish I’ve ever seen in my life! Gulping down water in my shock, I raced to shore only to laugh at myself for being such a wuss! When I came upon a small shark a few minutes later I was much more composed. The next few days on the Island were filled with morning hikes and swims, lazy afternoons reading, and quite evenings watching the lightening storms in the distant sunsets. The week was as picture perfect as Island life could get and I can’t wait for more of it in Thailand!

-Ash

The One Time a Monkey Tried to Kill Me (and I never exaggerate)

A cat-sized monkey nearly killed me and I never saw it coming.

The entrance to the Batu Caves in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia is located at the top of a massive flight of stairs. These caves are not only guarded by Hindu Gods, but a family of small monkeys patrol the thousands of steps that one must climb to enter. Unfortunately, the monkeys have become totally dependent on treats from tourists for food. Bananas, peanuts, and even cans of soda are steadily given out as the cameras flash. I had just finished taking a few pictures of an adorable mama monkey and her two small babies (without giving treats) and was concentrating on my footing as a continued to climb. Suddenly, out of NOWHERE, this monkey jumps in front of me, bares his fang-like teeth, and growls! I FREAKED! Stepping backwards, I overshot the step below me and would've tumbled down the  hundreds of concrete steps below had I not somehow managed to grab the railing and right myself. The monkey, as if to further mock my wussy reaction, did a somersault, and then sat looking at me as he itched his head.

My mates couldn't control their laughter.   

Looking down at the would-be-monkey-induced deathtrap, I hopped the railing to distance myself from the alpha male and made my way hurriedly to the cave entrance.  The cave was massive, the ceiling being at least two or three stories high. Water cascaded down the walls and green vegetation poked through light-filled holes. It would've been one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen in my life were it not for the men shoving snakes into my face for 'only ten ringget  pitcha lady!' and the stalls full of flashing junk for sale. Despite the commercialization of the natural wonder, I couldn't help but be in aw of its size and magnitude. 

Elly, John, and myself left after a few minutes wandering around. The heat was making us all parched so we walked down the monkey-stair gauntlet and back to the train. The climb and heat had exhausted me, so I took a nap. My own drool woke me up as John and Elly had yet another laugh at my expense. I didn't mind, experiences are much better if you can learn to laugh at yourself. 

So far its been a cruisy week in Malaysia. The two cities i've been in (Melacca and Kuala Lumpur) make me shake my head at my previous perceptions of Asia. Many areas are more developed than some states in the US, a bit more run down and dirty though. I've also been surprised by the massive blend of Buddist, Hindu, Muslim, and Christain followers that all live peacefully in this tropical country. Next up is a week of trekking before we hit the Islands and hopefully avoid the looming monsoons! 

-Ash

Fun Fact: A trek up Mt. Kilimanjaro would probably be easier than navigating the streets around here. Curbs disappear or rise dramatically without warning. Holes and obstacles are like minefields in the streets. Cars and motorcycles fly past chaotically. And you are constantly required to avoid the local predators who attack without warning, wanting you to buy their goods. 

The One Whole Day in Singapore

A little boy stood next to me doing the pee dance. Looking around past the 300 people in line around us, I saw there was no bathroom in sight. As I inched my way closer to the customs official who would scan, stamp, and send me into Singapore, the little boy's pee dance began to resemble John Travolta in Satruday Night Fever. Suddenly, just as I thought the little dude would be part of the 'peeing your pants is cool' club, his mother whipped out a plastic bag, dad yanked down the kids pants, and the toddler tinkled an impressive amount of fluid into the bag. Did I mention this was in the middle of the airport around hundreds of people? I looked around with shocked humor on my face, ready for some reaction from everyone else. Nothing happened. Apparently, this whole peeing in a bag thing is perfectly normal in Asia. Awesome...

Luckily, my experiences in Japan and New York prepared me for the chaos of the train station and massive city life that followed. Surrounded by announcements and a comlpex route map, I somehow managed to get on the right train and off at the right stop. Arriving at my hostel I was immediatly met by the sound of a very loud American man telling anyone within earshot his life story. Typical. After quickly checking in, I locked up my gear and then headed out to grab a feed.

Turning around the corner I came upon a Singapore tattoo shop. This consisted of a table and chair on the sidewalk. There were a few of the artist's examples taped against the side of a building, and a very cheerful man was giving a very drunk guy a massive tattoo. The sign read "Tattoo only $20". Sounded legit. I continued walking. My dinner was a whopping $1.80 USD and it was absolutely delicious. It was getting late and I was tired from a full day traveling so I headed back to the hostel.

A near sleepless night passed (thanks to some jerk with the worst hostel etiquette i've ever encountered) and I was up early to catch a bus into Malaysia. I ventured into the common area and was greeted by the loud American. I somehow got roped into conversation when I asked where the hostel manager was, and soon the guy was giving me his life story (despite me hearing half of it through the walls the night before). Married to his 5th Asian wife, he owned dozens of real estate companies in Hawaii and was in Singapore doing business for the oil being pumped from his property in Pennsylvania. According to him, he wasn't a millionare (yet) but he was very well off. 'If your so well off, why are you staying in the cheapest hostel in Singapore?' I asked. He didn't have a very good response for that one. Creep.

I went to grab a quick shower to try and fend off the sweltering heat. Opening the shower door, I laughed out loud. Smack dab in the middle of the shower stall was a poreclin hole in the ground - the toilet. Apparently this is standard in many parts of Asia and I made a mental note to never try and shower drunk for the duration of my travels. I wouldn't want my foot to end up in a toilet bowl, or try to explain how I injured myself while showering (although it wouldnt be the first time).

Within the hour I was cramming myself onto a public bus (probably a good 12-15 people over max capacity). I was one step closer to Malaysia and very eager to get out of the concrete jungle of Singapore. Negotiating a travel bus to Melacca (or Malaka depending on who you ask), I had a few hours to kill before we were due to depart. I wandered around a shopping plaza, overwhelmed by the smells and sounds of the massive city/country. I tried a few local chocolate pancakes and a ice cold glass of strawberry soy milk. Full and ready to go, I boarded the bus heading north into Malaysia and was really on my way to start what I hope will be one of the biggest adventures of my life!

-Ash

Fun Fact: I accidently burned myself walking too close to a metal trash can. Apparently some shops opt to burn their trash rather than deal with the city's garbage disposal system. Not very eco friendly eh?

The One in Aussie Land with the Ginger and the Doc

Brent is your typical Aussie bloke from Down Under. He’s not the Crocodile Dundee jackaroo or the sun-kissed blond surfer glorified in American media. Rather, he’s a freckled footy-playing ginger proudly waiting for what he calls the “Ranga Revolition!” (‘ranga’, short for orangutan, meaning redhead…I haven’t figured out if ‘ranga’ is slang or a naughty word yet). I’ve spent the past week getting to know the rellies from Down Under; who are relatives that I claim as my own but are actually related to my daycare mom Desi. Relishing in the thick Aussie accents, charm, and incredibly obliging hospitality, I’ve have had a much-needed break from the wonderful chaos, and not so wonderful cold of New Zealand.

The weather here has been pristine, and with a host who lives next to the beach, who wouldn’t be enjoying every minute? Now it hasn’t all been beaches and books. Brent and I have had a few adventures during my short stay. Last week we ventured to a park where wild parrots hastily ate seed from the palm of our hands, and then on the way home we spotted a few adorable wild kangaroos. Next was a trip to hike up the lush mountainside of Mt Warning to summit for a stunning 360-degree view of the Gold Coast. 4 hours and as many ankle-rolls later, and we were happily off our feet and headed home to catch a professional soccer match. Although the game wasn’t spectacular, the crowd was highly entertaining. Fans from both teams took part in a cultivated rivalry of chants, song, and hilarious heckling. I would share more details but, much of what came out of their mouths would’ve been cause for a lifetime ban if ever at a sporting event in the US… in case you didn’t know, Americans are extremely uptight and overly PC in comparison to most of the western world – especially in regard to sports and television. 

I was lucky enough to catch-up with a rugby teammate who used to be nicknamed Abzilla (if you ever watched her play, the name makes sense). Seeing as she’s in med school and on her way to becoming a real-life Medical Doctor, I’ve come to terms with just calling her Abby. I made it to Abby’s house minutes before her awesome boyfriend Jason got home from a short trip in New Zealand. The three of us ate a scrumptious treat of cornbread and chili for dinner (a meal nearly extinct on this side of the world) and caught up on life. Yesterday we took to the city via water taxi. Starting off with a quick dip in the beach/lagoon located in the middle of the city, we then toured the museum and metro art gallery. Couldn’t say I was too impressed with the art (weirded out mostly) but I’m a sucker for museums and had a blast learning about the history and culture of this unique country. All too soon I found myself bidding farewell to my rugby sister and boarded the train back to the beaches. 

After a lovely day spent touring the beach city of Burleigh with Ronelle, I found myself in the midst of a wonderfully welcoming family dinner. Over a Chinese smorgasbord we swapped stories and laughter as if we’ve been doing it for years. After just a few short days spent here, I’ve decided I’m absolutely going to have to come back for more!

I guess that run-down of the past week’s events doesn’t sound too ‘cruisy’, but in comparison to the last 13 months, this as been the most relaxing week in a while! So in preparation for Asia I’ve read almost zero literature, have had a handful of conversations about the do’s and don’ts, and have packed the bare essentials needed for my trip (haha)… guess they don’t call it ‘flying by the seat of your pants’ for nothing!

Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia – HERE I COME!

-Ash

Fun Fact: It is mandatory for every citizen over the age of 18 to vote in Australia. Failure to do so results in an expensive fine!