The One Where They Call Me Superman

The cloud of dust settled around me as I assessed the damage. I could breath – that was good. Stand up? With a little (okay, a lot of) pain, yes. Blood? Nothing that would require a transfusion. “Are you okay?” my biking cohort Miyu asked. I looked myself over, taking note of the dirt now covering the entire right side of my body and the road rash lying beneath it all, “I feel like I used to after rugby games, so I think I’ll be alright.” With that I grabbed my bike –which after flying over my head, had landed several feet away in the bushes. A few tentative and painful steps brought me back on the trail and we were off to finish the evening’s ride.

Once we caught back up with the main group (a hodge-podge group of riders ranging from borderline professional to beginner – AKA me) Alex, the best rider out of the girls took one look at me and laughed. “Took a spill?” I explained how after hitting the third roller (a rounded mound that resembles a jump) on the trail I had misjudged my speed and caught way too much air, after my front wheel touched the ground I ended up flying over my handlebars headfirst before somersaulting to a stop. “So you’re trying to be Superman huh?” she teased. I enquired as to why, on my first attempt at mountain biking, I had been taken to an obviously advanced course that careened down a highly technical track. “That’s what Stu does to beginners,” Alex explained, “he likes to take ‘em up here and see what they got.”

Nice Stu.

After several more less-impressive spills, I found myself back on the lakefront enjoying a beer and the gorgeous view with my fellow riders as the sun faded and the air cooled. Taking the advice of other riders, I have invested in bigger tires and a pair of protective gloves for my next outing, which I am about to embark on in a few hours.

I may have just found my new sport of choice in mountain biking– and I can’t wait to see how far my new wheels take me.

-Ashley

Fun Fact: New slang words I have picked up and found myself using…

• Sweet As: meaning “cool” among other things, and yes, it was inevitable I would start saying this popular Kiwi phrase.
• Keen: finding something favorable or wanting to do something as in, "You can come to the movies if you're keen"
• Legend: a hip way of saying “thanks”
• Proper: used in conjunction with another word to legitimize it as in “are we going to throw the rugby ball around or play a proper match?” or “are you having a snack or a proper meal?”
• Skull: replacing the American phrase “chug” as in “skull your drink!”
• Chips: French fries
• Brilliant: excellent, great, wonderful “he was brilliant on the guitar”
• Car Park: parking lot
• Lift: elevator
• Dodgy: bad, undreliable
• Eh: (pronounced as the letter “a”, but slightly different than the Canadian “aye”) often used at the end of a sentence when expecting a response “the weather was a bit dodgy today eh?”
• Knackered: utterly exhausted

The One Tourist, Two Hippies, and Three Germans

Disclaimer: To mom and my ‘other moms’, I promise not to be so stupid the next time I hike. Alright, now you can read on…

I was beginning to wonder how brilliant my idea was to hike 6 hours of cold exposed mountains by myself when I saw two people in the distance. At least I wasn’t alone and if I fell down a cliff (there were moment’s where I came a little too close for comfort) they might hear me yelling. I picked up my pace to catch up with them, and after about 20 minutes, found myself surprised to hear them talking perfectly normal whilst I was huffing and puffing my way up the mountainside. I was even more surprised when the young bucks I was expecting to catch up with turned out to be an extremely fit couple old enough to be my parents. The hikers might also qualify as the two biggest hippies living outside of Humboldt County.

Not wanting to intrude on the couple’s day out, I continued on my way alone. The 20-mile bike ride I had undertaken the day before was not helping my legs as the gentle slope of the mountain’s base began to increasingly become steeper, rockier, and more snow covered. At one point, due to the cloud cover, the visibility I had was 15 feet in any direction. My legs kept punching through the snow- causing me to lurch forward and use my bare hands in the icy snow to pull myself out. Out of nowhere a few German boys came into view, I asked how the summit was before finding out they had given up and were turning back. Probably a smart idea, but I was feeling adventurous. I mean, I was a Girlscout after all, and I figured that counted for something!

The last half mile of the hike I was frantically hoping the indentations in the snow I was following were actually footprints, otherwise I was wandering aimlessly and completely S.O.L. if I couldn’t find my way back. Just as I was getting ready to throw in the towel, the clouds cleared enough for me to see another steep rise just ahead. With the wind howling, I decided to climb that peak, and if the trail (or lack thereof) continued I would still relinquish my attempt and try to summit another day. Lucky for me, the 15 minutes of slipping and stumbling my way up was rewarded with the apex of the Ben Loman Track! If I could see father than a few feet, I’m sure the view would’ve been breathtaking

What really mattered is that I had conquered several hours of intense hiking and overcome my own doubts to reach my goal (without killing myself or getting lost). Within minutes those pansies from Germany showed up –having following my footsteps (literally) and obviously not wanting to be outdone by a scrawny American girl. We were making more formal introductions when the hippies, appearing from the mist, joined our soiree.

It turns out Phil and Lorraine (aka hippies) are Americans who moved to New Zealand nearly 20 years ago. On the hike down I listened (trying to swallow laughter at times) as they told me their life philosophies. I endured over 2 hours of bashing the war in Iraq, voicing embarrassment over George Bush (shocking- I know), informed me that western societies poison themselves daily with things like sunscreen and cleaning products, and described how using worms is the only responsible way to dispose of food. Then came tales of the neighbors. Phil and Lorrraine lucked into a house that now lies smack in the center of prime vacation real estate in Queenstown…the lush property value doesn’t diminish the number of crazies in the area.

There is the obsessive compulsive who is married to a chain-smoking alcoholic. A few doors down a manic bi-polar genius. Across the way is a multimillionaire grandma who owns 7 or so houses around the world but, for unknown reasons, chooses to live in a modest 2 bedroom that desperately needs a renovation. Lorraine’s favorite neighbor though is a paranoid schizophrenic who involves the whole neighborhood in his bizarre schemes, while Phil rather enjoys razzing the swindling accountant who married into big money and is now spending the family fortune on several $5 million dollar mansions (among other vain investments). By the time we reached town the three of us were fast friends and I’d penciled in a dinner to meet the rest of the family.

Whether hippies or squares, I seriously love the locals.

-Ashley

Fun Fact: A few nights ago during a toga party, a couple was caught on security cameras doing the ‘deed’ in the darkly lit theater room.

Rather than dealing with it quietly, the hostel printed the most provocative of the images and posted them everywhere. They then spent two days announcing (on the hour) how many YouTube hits the video had received so far.

Whenever the offending girl or guy leaves or enters a room, everyone breaks out in chants of “TOGA TOGA TOGA!”

Only in New Zealand folks…

The One On A South Island Road Trip

Alright, if you didn't have to read this screen I would be telling you to close your eyes right now so you could fully imagine how incredible what I'm about to describe really is. Maybe you could read and then close them?

So imagine a road that winds its way from picturesque rolling countryside before beginning a gentle climb up a mountainside. Sprinkle in tree's, starting with a cluster here and there and then growing until the hillside is thick with greenery and glistening with recent rains. Come around a bend in the road and suddenly the mountainside ends abruptly, flattening out into a golden yellow valley streaming with sunlight. Another two minutes of driving and the mighty mountainside of sheer rock and shrubs return, waterfalls cascading down, the water gliding thousands of feet from the snow capped peaks and into to small meandering streams. Then suddenly, in the midst of mountains and waterfalls and snow and greenery, the most breathtaking view comes upon the horizon: Milford Sound.

It seems nearly impossible for anything this incredible to get...well, more incredible. But when calm and clear blue ocean waters flood into tropical snow capped mountains, it is literally breathtaking. Without a doubt, I witnessed one of the true natural wonders of the world yesterday, and I can't wait to go back and hike it's world-renowned tracks!

After the spectacular trip to Milford Sound, I didn't expect anything else to come close to impressing me.


Little did I know what surprises were in store: whilst ambling down onto the cold beach of Waipapa Point, I almost literally stumbled upon an endangered species! Jumping from the trail onto the sand, I was admiring the rocks leading into the ocean, when one of the rocks about 8 feet away from me popped its head up! And what a massive head! The New Zealand Seal Lion was not too happy to be woken up from its nap, and when Steve (a young Canadian who still succumbs to his boyish ways) decided to get as close as possible, the giant animal bellowed, barred its teeth, and began to charge! Not wanting to see if the locals were telling the truth about the pain caused by Seal Lion bites, we ran! The big guy eventually lumbered back into the ocean and we then headed to the van to discover more of the South Island.

After a few misguided turns, and about 30,000 sheep (no, I'm not exaggerating guys!), we came upon a trail leading to McLean Falls. A short and gorgeous 20 minute hike through damp tropical forests led to several impressive falls. The first few were 6-8 foot drops but upon further exploration, a waterfall pouring from 40-50 feet above us came crashing into a shallow pool surrounded by moss-covered rocks. Ever the adventurers, Steve and myself climbed a muddy mountainside, squeezed through some huge boulders, and waded freezing waters to find ourselves on the edge of the top of the falls. A few pictures and several vertigo-inducing moments later we were back on the trail and smiling ear-to-ear about how awesome our day had been so far.

Throwing itineraries to the wind, the van (including Brits Rachel, Bec, Rich, and Jeremy, and Canadians Tara and Steve) decided "what the heck?" and drove onward to the college town of Dunedin. So a few hundred kilometers and a handful of memories later, I'm on the East Coast of the South Island and getting ready to bed-down before a big day of sight-seeing and driving back to Queenstown.

I still pinch myself every once in a while to make sure this isn't all a dream, but it's not, and I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to meet such wonderful unique people and experience some of the most incredible natural wonders this amazing country has to offer!

-Ashley

Fun Fact: New Zealand is home to the longest place name in the world- Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipikimaungahoronukupokaiwenuakitanatahua. The Maori name translates to "the place where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed and swallowed mountains, known as Landeater, played his flute to his loved one."

The One On A Mountain

When you’ve had free time 24 hours a day for the past two months, waking up at 7:00 AM is not the norm. But this day was different. I was climbing mountains! Literally.

By 7:45 I was at the base of a trail that winds its way through dense forests until finally reaching the summit, and a 220-degree view so spectacular, it is one of the top attractions of the whole of New Zealand. I craned my neck upwards to take in just how impressive the 1,500 feet of mountain I was about to climb really was. After a few deep breaths of cold air, I headed up the first of many steep ravines to come.

About halfway up, just as the trail (FINALLY) leveled out, I came upon an opening in the giant wall of rock I had been walking along. Not sure if it was just an indentation in the rocks or an awesome cave, I decided to check it out. Half crawling half sliding, I got about a third of my body into the hole (which opened up quiet a bit a few feet in) when I heard a sound all-too familiar. My brand new camera had slipped out of a small side pocket in my backpack and was crashing and smashing its way into a black hole of jagged rocks. As if to tell me, “Hey I’m down here!” the camera let off one last flash then settled into darkness.

Now, because I know my mom reads this, I cannot type specifically what came out of my mouth upon realizing two things: one, I was an idiot for not zipping my backpack pocket fully shut and two, I now had to figure out a way to crawl down into the pitch-black (without a flashlight) and feel around for my camera. Reminding myself that there are no poisonous snakes, spiders, or predatory animals in New Zealand did not calm the intense fear that overcame me, caused by the thought of descending all alone into a pitch-black cave…but I overcame and triumphed! (((Fade-in superhero music here)))

After clamoring around for a few minutes I was back in full-daylight inspecting the damage. Entire portions of my camera’s lens were gone, and even the playback feature refused to work, I was depressed, to say the least, that I would have no way of recording the rest of my incredible climb and that now I have to figure out how to get my camera fixed while a few thousand miles away from home.

I spent the next two hours climbing up to the summit (the views were everything they were chalked up to be and more) and then ambled my way back down to civilization. The trail back followed a rusty and moss covered old pipeline that used to bring water into Queenstown. It meanders along a crystal clear stream of water, passing waterfalls and fern groves before ending a half-mile from the center of town. I was in awe by how picturesque the hike was, and am now more excited than ever to explore the rest of New Zealand’s many hiking trails. Despite the cave eating my camera, and my legs feeling like I just finished playing in a two-day rugby tournament, I loved every minute of carefree exploration!

-Ashley

Fun fact: When traveling, it is common to hear a multitude of languages and accents. Upon discussing this with friends (from all over the world) we all came to the consensus that German is in fact, the ugliest sounding language and accent of them all, with Irish being the hardest to understand (I wonder if they are even speaking English most of the time), and Italian and French being amongst the sexiest. 

The One In A Van Down By The River

Alright, technically the "river" I'm cozied up next to is a small stream and the "van" i'm living in came off the assembly line two months premature- causing it to be slightly smaller and less fantastic than the minivans of my childhood. Needless to say, I cannot change the fact that my accommodations scarily resemble those described by Chris Farley in his Saturday Night Live skit of the late 90's.

On a good note, I wake up every morning facing an immaculate rugby pitch and am surrounded by some of the most breathtaking mountains i've ever seen. A five minute walk leads to the edge of Lake Wakatipu, with crystal clear glacier waters and numerous world-renowned adventure water activities. My life is packed into a backpack, duffle bag, and large box containing food...I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Now officially on my traveler's budget (I spent 1/3 of my year's budget already on my miniaturized minivan and some other travel necessities) I've begun to find myself doing things in the name of saving money that I otherwise wouldn't dare. For example: After slaving over the stove, I produced a wonderful grilled-cheese and salami sandwich...my fourth of the day. On my way out of the kitchen I noticed someone had left a jar of pasta sauce on the "free food" shelf. Like a kid after a piñata breaks, I rushed toward the treat and poured the contents on my sandwich. At this point I began making my way to my van/home while still munching down my new creation. When stepping off the curb, a perfectly good slice of salami slid out of the sandwich and rolled (much like a quarter) down a driveway and under a car. I looked quickly around me to make sure no one was watching, retrieved the salami, blew on it twice (for good measure), inspected it for dirt (it was pitch-black so I don't know why i bothered) then popped it into my mouth. 

I know what you're thinking (GROSS!!!) but after a few years of seeing children eating food off the ground (and dating a certain someone who's name we will not mention but whom has appalling eating habits), this practice doesn't seem as dangerous or dirty as the average person would think. 

I have also learned that, instead of brewing a second cup of tea for a caffeine boost, I just add three or four extra spoonfuls of sugar to my first cup and get the same effect. Also, expiration dates are just a number, its the smell that counts. Adding rice to any meal doubles the amount of food intake without costing much more, and walking is a wonderful mode of transportation. 

Until next time...

-Ashley

Fun Fact: The film Willow, my favorite movie of ALL TIME, was mainly filmed in two locations- Northern California and QUEENSTOWN NZ!! (no wonder I liked it so much!)